“Diary of Interrupted Days“: Part 2
[NOTE: click here for today's Teaser Tuesdays post!]
The other day, I started a post about a quote I found in “Diary of Interrupted Days” by Dragan Todorovic. I haven’t read this book, but only found it online, and then read the first page via Amazon.ca’s “Look Inside This Book” feature.
To recap, the quote said this:
“Most people believe that their endeavours define them. Their striving becomes a symbol of who they are. But that is only half of the picture. We search for some public grail to avoid a deeper, unconfessed compulsion. In some secret place in our memories –carefully covered, unlit– lies the truth about us: you are what you run away from.”
I’ve been mulling over this quote for several days, and two points keep jumping out at me, so I’m going to expand on those…
“Most people believe that their endeavors define them.”
Well, my main endeavors are reading and motherhood. And, yes, I’d define myself as “a mom of 2” and as “an avid reader, or bookworm“. 
I don’t see anything wrong with being defined by those things. Yes, they’re what I do, but I really believe that they describe who I am, too.
Sure, I could say that I’m creative, intuitive, romantic, and talkative. And those would all be true. But, those are broad terms. When I say that I’m an “avid reader“, you can look more deeply into that (if you cared to) and see that I’m someone who loves to learn, someone who enjoys quiet and solitude, and someone who’s probably –kind of– smart, even! LOL. 
Of course, you could read a lot into my definition of myself as a “mother“, too, but that could go soooo many different ways! LOL. Am I a good mother, or a bad one? A strict mother, or a relaxed mom? Or, does it just mean that I’m always busy? (yep, I’m definitely that! LOL).
Then there’s the whole job/career angle. I may currently work as a cashier, but I don’t define myself by that. It’s what I do, but it’s not who I am. It’s not where my passion lies, and I guess that’s why there are some endeavors by which I’d define myself, and others that I wouldn’t.
“You are what you run away from.”
This one gets a little more personal; digs a little deeper. What do I run away from?
In all honesty, I run away from effort and “elbow-grease”. LOL. I don’t like hard work, and I don’t like anything that makes me leave my comfort zones. I don’t like change, or surprises, or having my routines disrupted. I run from things that depress me, or things that will make me mad.
This is probably why I don’t watch or read the news. Most people are shocked when I say this, but I have decided that I just don’t care to hear about all of the negatives. I’m not denying their existence, or trying to pretend that I live in a world where everything is happy-peachy and violence doesn’t happen. I’m just saying, I know it’s out there, but I don’t want to cloud my world with its depressing reality. And, as for the big events/news, someone always talks about it, so it’s not like I’m left in the dark.
I’m learning not to run from everything that pulls me out of my comfort zones, or will make me mad, though. For example, I’m trying books that I used to avoid like the plague. I used to stay away from books that talked of faiths (or faith viewpoints) different from my own for fear that my faith would be challenged. But I’ve learned that faith that isn’t challenged can’t grow. So, I’m being brave and branching out in my reading. And, I’m glad of it, too!
Last year, I read two out-of-my-comfort-zone books (“The Unlikely Disciple” by Kevin Roose, and “The Year of Living Biblically“ by A.J. Jacobs), and both ended up on my Top 10 List for the year!
Just recently, while browsing in the bookstore with my mom, I picked up Craig Groeschel’s book, “The Christian Atheist“. I read the back cover, and then showed the book to my mom and said, “This sounds really good!” When she saw the title, she made a face and said, “Really? That’s not a book I would ever think to pick up.” Of course, then I had to enlighten her as to why it’s sometimes a good thing to pick up books you wouldn’t normally give a second thought to. “You just never know,” I said.
I currently have plans to take on a really “scary” (for me) book… Darwin’s “The Origin of Species“. Yep, it’s very heretical, according to my faith. But, I can’t say why I don’t agree with it if I haven’t read it, right?
So, yeah. There’s a lot that I run away from (and I’ll let you read into it to see who I am, if you want). LOL. But I am learning how to face my fears; to stand still instead of always running away. Sometimes the “boogey monster” is nothing worse than the lamp on your dresser ~ you just need to turn on the light.
