God-Sized Dreams: More

This week’s God-Sized Dream Team prompt asks…
What do you really want more of in your life? Will you dare to say it out loud? Hint: it probably means having less of something too {ex: more joy, less stress}. Write a post sharing the desire(s) of your heart.

 

There’s a lot that I want more of in my life, actually. Not that I’m not grateful for what I have now, but still…

The deepest desire of my heart is for more freedom. This encompasses so many areas of my life, and I won’t get into them all. But, I’d like freedom from constantly thinking about my weight. I hate that I can’t wear whatever I want, and I am often too worn out to play with my kids. I hate that I’m always wishing to be healthy. I know I have to put in the work to get there, and believe me, it’s not like I haven’t tried! But, I give up on it too easily… I sabotage myself, and make excuses. So there, too — I want freedom from the excuses!

I want more Christian activities. I want to go to more Christian concerts, and I want to attend Christian conferences like Allume & She Speaks. I want to hang out with Christian friends more often, as I’m so tired of hanging out with people who think it’s funny to be crude. I’m tired of the secular life.

I want the ability to pursue my dreams — freedom from financial struggles so that I can actually start moving forward! I am not looking to be rich. I just want to not always be living paycheck to paycheck. I feel like we’re always going around in circles instead of making progress forward. I can do little things toward my dreams, but without the money to purchase materials and such, I can’t fully realize those dreams, either.

I want to take my kids to places like the zoo, and Canada’s Wonderland, and Disney World. Again, these things cost money, and we’ve never been able to do this. We can’t afford to take family vacations, and that’s heartbreaking to me — my childhood was filled with fun adventures, because my Dad had a great job, and was able to provide these things. I so badly want this for my kids, too!

I want to be my own boss… have my own business. I want to not have to worry about the fact that there aren’t any jobs out there for me, because I have my own business and am not dependent on a job outside of the home to keep us afloat (yes, I realize that I’d still be reliant on clients coming to me, and so therefore, the economy’s standing. But, still…).

Overall, it all comes down to less excuses and less distrust. I can’t just sit around saying “Poor me, there aren’t any jobs out there…“, or “Poor me, I can’t seem to stick with my diet…“, or “Poor me, we have no money to take vacations…“. I have to go, “Okay, God… how do we get from point A to point B? What’s Your game plan? Show me which jobs to apply for… Give me the self-control I need to stick with my healthy eating plan… Provide a way for us to make good memories as a family.”

Like I said, these are just some of the things I’m wanting. There’s so much more! But, I’m learning how to trust God for things. I know He’ll provide out of His storehouse of riches. I just have to be paying attention, and I have to be actively doing my part to pursue what He shows me, too.

 

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